Thursday, September 30, 2010
30 September 2010
Today is Sook Fong's lasst day in SEGi KL... Tomorrow she will start her new day in SEGi UC KD.. So, as a staff here, my boss (head of department) treat all of us lunch at Anuja's Briyani restaurant~ Yummy~ Yummy~
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Happy Mid Autumn Festival 2010
People say if you make a wish on the full moon on Mid Autumn, your wish will come true. I don't know where I heard this from. But I had a wish. I wished that me and KT be like how we used to be last time. I just don't like the situation now. A sad moment for me. KT ar KT... When will you treat me like normal? Please don't ignore me leh.
This week, I start to take over my colleague's job which is handling papers. Luckily I only need to do these for 2 months, if not, I think I already become a crazy girl because I can't tell the feelings inside me to anyone else except certain people especially KT. I know if I tell KT all these, he will comment and advise me but lately...dull. I'm in tense and he gave me this situation and made me into a bigger tense. Almost every night I cry because of the tense inside. KT not going to talk to me. KT is ignoring me and avoiding me. Colleagues are giving me stress. They might have forgotten that I'm just a PART-TIMER and I'm a too new in handling the papers.
Sometimes, they just made me scared of going to work. Everyday my dad asked me to resign. Stress from home. Stress from work. Stress from KT. KT ar.... Please don't add 1 more leg in my stress la... I really beh tahan and going to burst soon. Please help me can bo??
This week, I start to take over my colleague's job which is handling papers. Luckily I only need to do these for 2 months, if not, I think I already become a crazy girl because I can't tell the feelings inside me to anyone else except certain people especially KT. I know if I tell KT all these, he will comment and advise me but lately...dull. I'm in tense and he gave me this situation and made me into a bigger tense. Almost every night I cry because of the tense inside. KT not going to talk to me. KT is ignoring me and avoiding me. Colleagues are giving me stress. They might have forgotten that I'm just a PART-TIMER and I'm a too new in handling the papers.
Sometimes, they just made me scared of going to work. Everyday my dad asked me to resign. Stress from home. Stress from work. Stress from KT. KT ar.... Please don't add 1 more leg in my stress la... I really beh tahan and going to burst soon. Please help me can bo??
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Cold Raining Night (19 September 10 @ 1.15 a.m.)
Raining now~ Quite heavy too... I wonder whether your place rains too?? Thunder? I can feel the floor "tremble" when the thunder touches the ground... How about you?? It's getting cold now~ Better get under your comfort blanket and don't catch a cold~
Well, I wanted to ask but I don't know how to start asking.. I don't even know where went wrong between us.. Only you alone know everything.. Even if I asked, I still don't get the answer... It's been a month since you acted like this to me... Do you know that my heart hurts when you treat me like this?? Do you know it hurts when you are just beside me but I can't say a single word to you?? It hurts more when I know you were always there but pretended not to be there and ignore me?? Where is the you I know?? Or I never know you at all?? I just know a masked you or the real you?? I was there for you when you need someone to tell your feelings but where were you when I need you?? It's alright if you can't give me your love and you not accepting mine too.. I'm alright with it.. You still can pass your loving brother's love to a sister like me, right? Or you already got someone who suits that love more than me?? You're getting close with your students which I remember you said "I personally don't agree that a lecturer get close with a student" and now you're doing it..
I'm jealous? Yes! I am!! I won't deny that I'm jealous.. But what can I do? Standing and watching everything happen from a far corner... I can't even go near to you because I scared that you say I'm checking on you like what had happened before this.. Every time when you tell me about your students, I don't feel good at all... Especially when you told me that you were worried about your student who called you because she went out till late night and haven't back home... I really scared that you will go find her and send her home... Even when you told me that you not going, I not able to trust you 100% because I'm scared that you will really go out... OK! Your student is a girl.. So what?! Her parent should worry about her and not a lecturer like you.. Her parents not worry about her and you worry about her?? You say you don't like girls who went out clubbing and make others worry but actually you like girls who go clubbing.. You say you like simple girl... A girl who put less make up but still look good... A girl who is not high maintenance.. But as I see, those girls you told me were totally opposite from what you say.. Whenever you say the above, I really thought that you meant me but actually not me... Inside hurts a lot but you don't know...
You said someone good girl like me was too good for you because you aren't a good guy.. And you said someone will appreciate me... But still you asked me why a good guy like you can't get a girl like me.. Why you want to say these to me?? There is no reason for me to like someone... You asked me will I be happy if we were together... I don't know how to tell you because we haven't try, we won't know... You said you will hit your girlfriend when you angry or drunk or when you unhappy with something... If I'm you girl, I let you hit me if you really wished to hit someone... I'm willing to get hurt rather than seeing you hurting others and yourself.. At least I know what you are doing and at least I know that you love me from bottom of your heart... I know you were joking when telling me all these but I don't even have a chance to answer all your answer with my sincere heart and this had happened (you avoiding me) and you getting busier day by day because you lost a good ex-assistant (your ex-girl) of yours..
If I had appreciate you, I think this (you avoid me) won't happen.. If you had appreciate her, you wouldn't lost a good assistant... If she had appreciate you, she wouldn't had go on other guy and betray you.. If all these never happen, I think we will never know each other.. If not because of I added you, you wouldn't have talked to me... If not because of my brother went out on my birthday and made me waited, you wouldn't have promised me a present... If not because of you asked me to tell you more about Ms. Tan, you wouldn't have given me the new CD I wanted to own.. Looks like whole paragraph sounds like I'm the person who got everything wrong.. It's my fault to fall for you with a simple reason (a loving + caring guy who can take care me for the rest of my life).. But now, you acting like this.. Which means I have to take all of them back?? Or forget everything and start a new life??
I wonder again... If you read this post of mine, will you finish everything till the end and leave me a comment in MSN or just ignore it once again like what you did to me now?? I want to know because it's really been more than a month you didn't talked to me like we used to already... Honestly, I miss you and I hate you at the same time.. Miss you because I misses the time we had together... Hate you because you seems to forget about me totally...
This post ended on a cold raining night at 2.19 a.m. of 19 September 2010
Well, I wanted to ask but I don't know how to start asking.. I don't even know where went wrong between us.. Only you alone know everything.. Even if I asked, I still don't get the answer... It's been a month since you acted like this to me... Do you know that my heart hurts when you treat me like this?? Do you know it hurts when you are just beside me but I can't say a single word to you?? It hurts more when I know you were always there but pretended not to be there and ignore me?? Where is the you I know?? Or I never know you at all?? I just know a masked you or the real you?? I was there for you when you need someone to tell your feelings but where were you when I need you?? It's alright if you can't give me your love and you not accepting mine too.. I'm alright with it.. You still can pass your loving brother's love to a sister like me, right? Or you already got someone who suits that love more than me?? You're getting close with your students which I remember you said "I personally don't agree that a lecturer get close with a student" and now you're doing it..
I'm jealous? Yes! I am!! I won't deny that I'm jealous.. But what can I do? Standing and watching everything happen from a far corner... I can't even go near to you because I scared that you say I'm checking on you like what had happened before this.. Every time when you tell me about your students, I don't feel good at all... Especially when you told me that you were worried about your student who called you because she went out till late night and haven't back home... I really scared that you will go find her and send her home... Even when you told me that you not going, I not able to trust you 100% because I'm scared that you will really go out... OK! Your student is a girl.. So what?! Her parent should worry about her and not a lecturer like you.. Her parents not worry about her and you worry about her?? You say you don't like girls who went out clubbing and make others worry but actually you like girls who go clubbing.. You say you like simple girl... A girl who put less make up but still look good... A girl who is not high maintenance.. But as I see, those girls you told me were totally opposite from what you say.. Whenever you say the above, I really thought that you meant me but actually not me... Inside hurts a lot but you don't know...
You said someone good girl like me was too good for you because you aren't a good guy.. And you said someone will appreciate me... But still you asked me why a good guy like you can't get a girl like me.. Why you want to say these to me?? There is no reason for me to like someone... You asked me will I be happy if we were together... I don't know how to tell you because we haven't try, we won't know... You said you will hit your girlfriend when you angry or drunk or when you unhappy with something... If I'm you girl, I let you hit me if you really wished to hit someone... I'm willing to get hurt rather than seeing you hurting others and yourself.. At least I know what you are doing and at least I know that you love me from bottom of your heart... I know you were joking when telling me all these but I don't even have a chance to answer all your answer with my sincere heart and this had happened (you avoiding me) and you getting busier day by day because you lost a good ex-assistant (your ex-girl) of yours..
If I had appreciate you, I think this (you avoid me) won't happen.. If you had appreciate her, you wouldn't lost a good assistant... If she had appreciate you, she wouldn't had go on other guy and betray you.. If all these never happen, I think we will never know each other.. If not because of I added you, you wouldn't have talked to me... If not because of my brother went out on my birthday and made me waited, you wouldn't have promised me a present... If not because of you asked me to tell you more about Ms. Tan, you wouldn't have given me the new CD I wanted to own.. Looks like whole paragraph sounds like I'm the person who got everything wrong.. It's my fault to fall for you with a simple reason (a loving + caring guy who can take care me for the rest of my life).. But now, you acting like this.. Which means I have to take all of them back?? Or forget everything and start a new life??
I wonder again... If you read this post of mine, will you finish everything till the end and leave me a comment in MSN or just ignore it once again like what you did to me now?? I want to know because it's really been more than a month you didn't talked to me like we used to already... Honestly, I miss you and I hate you at the same time.. Miss you because I misses the time we had together... Hate you because you seems to forget about me totally...
This post ended on a cold raining night at 2.19 a.m. of 19 September 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
9 September 2010
Well, I just back from my gathering with my friends... "Blow water" until don't know time... Wakaka.... First time blow water for 5 hours leh... I leave the house at 7pm and back at 12++ am... Wakakak.... At home also got nothing to do... The one I want to concern about me no longer concern about me... So, go out "blow water" la...
Saturday, September 4, 2010
4 September 2010
Well, still not able to talk to TL... Actually what happen between us??? I really don't know... Counted, almost 1 month we're like this... A month ago or I should say before a month ago, both of us are just close to each other... But now, totally like stranger already... Why??? This really hurt me a lot.... He was here today but I can't look at him like what I used to be... He also ignoring me as well... Haiz... Still the same??? Sad me... I thought we won't be like this... We are really like strangers... I really don't like this... I had cried few times whenever I think about it... Even when I'm in office, I'm holding back my tears... But once I can't hold it anymore, I acted like normal and went ladies and cry... Well, possibly he don't even know how I feel when he did this to me...
I guess he's going out with friends... Maybe he already in a new relationship and that's whey he don't want me to be close to him like we used to be.... Even if like that, aren't he suppose to tell me?? Now, it's like we never know each other... Just like I am the person he only want to be with when he not happy with something and when he is in a good mood, he find others... What am I to him??? Is it because he don't want me to like him so he did this to me???
Still remember he said he need time to settle his mood... 1 month not enough??? I'm really going to be crazy soon because of him... He just don't understand what my intentions are... I'm not hoping to be his girlfriend... I just want him to be my special TL and sayang me like he used to be... I wish that he could share everything with me whether it is sad or happy things so that I can concern him more.... But now, seems like I have to stop all these which I really don't want to... TL, honestly, I really like u very much... It doesn't matter if u don't like me but please don't ignore and avoid me, can or not??? It really hurts me in this period...
I guess he's going out with friends... Maybe he already in a new relationship and that's whey he don't want me to be close to him like we used to be.... Even if like that, aren't he suppose to tell me?? Now, it's like we never know each other... Just like I am the person he only want to be with when he not happy with something and when he is in a good mood, he find others... What am I to him??? Is it because he don't want me to like him so he did this to me???
Still remember he said he need time to settle his mood... 1 month not enough??? I'm really going to be crazy soon because of him... He just don't understand what my intentions are... I'm not hoping to be his girlfriend... I just want him to be my special TL and sayang me like he used to be... I wish that he could share everything with me whether it is sad or happy things so that I can concern him more.... But now, seems like I have to stop all these which I really don't want to... TL, honestly, I really like u very much... It doesn't matter if u don't like me but please don't ignore and avoid me, can or not??? It really hurts me in this period...
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
1 September 2010
Got my ss501 DVD for RM210!!! Haihz.... Coming up next to my collection will be 1st album, 2nd single n 3rd single... Haha... Waiting for them to come this September... Thanks Alex oppa for the help~ Well, the DVD I got today will be a secret... If my mom know that I bought it, she sure bising say I waste money buying all these useless stuffs... But if TL, he will scold me as well because I won't play the DVD... Even the Destination he bought for me as birthday present is still in the cupboard nicely (even after he take out the CD for me the other day and almost made me cry because I'm scared of getting the CD became 2 pieces instead of 1 piece)...
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